How to Feed a Picky Eater with Few Safe Foods

We often have many strongly held beliefs surrounding food and eating if we're honest with ourselves, and not all of these ideas are healthy. 

Preconceived notions about food and eating can be amplified during the holiday season, which is already an emotionally charged time of year. Even more-so if you count a picky eater with few safe foods among your ranks.

Feeding a picky eater with few safe foods is not as tricky as you think. Let's look at ways to approach this.

**Disclaimer: the suggestions in this article assume that there are no underlying causes of picky eating. Consult a healthcare provider to rule out conditions that could lead to feeding difficulties or preferences.

Offer a Variety of Foods

Your job is to offer a variety of foods. Your child's job is to decide what and how much to eat. Always offer at least one safe food that you know your child will eat. 

Continue to offer "sometimes, rarely or never" foods to your child. It can take many exposures to foods before your child learns to like them. And if they never do, that's okay, too. 

No Pressure 

Food is neutral according to Feeding Littles. Don't put sweet treats on a pedestal, for example, or make receiving desert contingent on eating other portions of a meal. 

These kinds of manipulation tactics can backfire, and lead to an obsession with sweets or binge eating in private. Similarly, don't link receiving food with other behaviors. Don't offer food as a reward, or withhold it as a punishment. Food is eaten to nourish our bodies.

Don't insist on eating a certain amount of a food or clearing the plate. We often have an innate ability to stop eating when we're full, but this natural feeling of satiety can be snuffed out by such maneuvers. 

Obesity and its complications is a national health crisis. The ability to control portions and stop eating when you feel full is a powerful skill that can help prevent obesity. 

Unlearning may be Necessary 

Speaking of portions, you might need to redefine what you consider a "meal." Adults tend to serve large portions that can seem overwhelming to children. Offer a small amount of each food, but be prepared to serve up more of whatever your child finishes. 

Pay attention to your child's natural eating tendencies. Perhaps he or she does not eat large portions multiple times a day, but is more of a grazer. Just because it's different doesn't make it wrong, and your child could still be getting adequate nutrition.

Lean into the ways your child tends to eat. Tinker with the presentation of foods and the timing of meals. Incorporate your child's interests if possible with dinnerware and silverware. 

Offer a snack board, presenting a variety of foods in condiment bowls or a muffin tin. 

Play with Your Food 

Speaking of no pressure, interact with food and take any expectation of eating completely off the table (pun intended). Lace cheerios on a pipe cleaner, piece of yarn, or shoestring. Use taste safe materials to create a sensory bin. 

Have a picnic with your child's favorite stuffies. Invite your children to prepare meals with you in age appropriate ways. Perhaps they can help wash produce, pour and mix or stir ingredients. 

Poker Face

Adopting the view that your job is to offer a variety of foods is empowering. Don't erupt into celebration over what's eaten or resort to shaming over what's not. 

Release yourself and your child from all of the expectations that can come with eating and lead to unhealthy relationships with food. 

Inform Your Circle

Perhaps you're fortunate enough to have a village to help raise your child(ren). Whether it's just you and your partner or a roster of helpers, make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to feeding your little one(s).

Make your eating expectations (or rather, the lack thereof) known and clear. We all do the best we can with the knowledge and resources we have, but perhaps you're a generational cycle breaker when it comes to eating and developing healthy relationships with food.

Be matter of fact and unapologetic with your lifestyle choices. Tell your helpers that they can get right, or get left! Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but this is important. 

Summary

Don't stress if you have a picky eater. Explore and confront your beliefs about eating. Remember that your job is to provide a variety of foods, including safe foods. Your child's job is to decide what and how much to eat. 

Keep it light. Involve your child with food prep, and play with pretend and real food to take the pressure off of eating. Food is neutral. Don't offer food as a reward, withhold it as punishment, or in any way tie it to behaviors. 

Keep your face neutral, too, avoiding good or bad big reactions to eating. Doing this will simplify your life. Relax. You've got this! 

Do you have any problematic relationships with food and eating that you've had to work hard to achkowledge and change?